A few weeks later he discarded me just at the point he knew I was gearing up to go on job interviews.

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I accept that it will take time to get over (in this case) my BPD lover. \ Until then, I am grateful for my health, my friendships, my sobriety, and for my accomplishments. Reply Hi Kim – Your work helped me recover from a love affair with someone who had textbook NPD, Thank You! While recovering from NPD boyfriend, I did use POF and OKC, looking specifically for buddies with similar interests.

Three years later I’m off the sites because I’ve found real love, but a few of my current best friends are men I met on these sites.

the bad grammar used to be notorious as well, I think that has improved these days. I still cant help but swipe left for any guy with a selfie because my inner voice screams “Narcissist!!!! Through training with people like Kim, it’s a lot easier to spot the narcissists; the I I I I aye types; the ones demanding a Rolls Royce or a Bentley; the ones that subtly insult you in the opening words, or start a quarrel (wadya mean you are a female contractor; bet you don’t get dirty.) I do get dirty, and I’ve been doing so since you were a gleam in your Daddy’s eyes. Very recently, I just pulled the plug on everything.

My grammar is not perfect, but my first language is spanish, so my apologies. I’m getting much happier with who I am, thank you very much.

When in my early 30’s I did newspaper ads, then after a while starting in my late 30’s, I did the online thing, one of my first was ok cupid…I met someone there in my early 40’s who turned out to be a narcissistic weirdo who only wanted one thing, and it wasnt a committed relationship (at least with me), unfortunately, it took me a while to get over that emotional obsession, by the time I did, it was really too late for me -nature had taken away my ability to have children…I have had 100% bad stuff from every online dating service I joined and that has been over a dozen and the men there…from being stood up, to meeting psychos who boldly put up pictures that were not them or from 20 yrs prior, to being abused verbally or emotionally, to being lied, to promises of love that never happened, to being coaxed to give of myself just to be taken advantage of…You can see, I don’t need an article to keep me away, but keep spreading the word, so others might know. I asked what was the day’s weather like in Santa Ana, he gave me Raleigh’s NC weather, like 20 degrees hotter than CA. I know there are out there vulnerable people that can fell for people like this guy… I’ve been dipping my toes in the water, but the idea of dating really scares the crap out of me!

Reply I messaged with this guy from Santa Ana, CA on OKC. He “grew up” in South Africa (That’s a big red flag) overseas people always end up asking for money. My point is; if someone approaches you mentioning south Africa, the UK, a military career, most likely it’s a scam. Those were only the ones in person and I at one time close to 100 messages from different people on the site that red flags were so bad I did not even respond to the message. I have been trying out Bumble which gives women all the power, so that one feels the safest so far. Sure, you can anticipate some level of flack – that’s what it is, right or wrong, to be female on the internet. They wanted some kind of “relationship” with a girl without putting any work into it. In the real world, there is always an effort – at the very least, to be civil.The one man I met in person seemed very interesting and interested, but shared early on that even e Harmony had told him he was not “matchable” due to his social awkwardness.After a rather disconnected experience sitting through an experimental movie, I ended the conversation. She had more than one home, so I never new about her other life. Kathleen Reply Hi Kathleen, Thanks for commenting and for reading my books.It’s their way of testing boundaries to see if you’ll cave in. I was looking to talk to 30-40 year old, and he was 41 but I did not want to be rude and say no. I seen some of his stuff and this so sounds like him check ou the bust a cheaters website his ex and others have bene posting on him. – Both porn addicts, one into photoshopped still images of women who were beyond out of his league, the other into some disgusting daddy dom crap where he liked pictures of women sucking on lolipops saying things like “practicing for daddy.” – Both compulsive and chronic liars, omg, lying about literally everything just to keep extending the ride.Within a year I read his answers to some question(I know I should have read them much earlier lol) because some of our values were the complete opposite. He is on so many dating sites like Tinder, POF and OKcupid, Craigslist personals, idating and so many others. They pretended to be into things I was into, pretended to agree with me even though my intuition caught that they were pretending.–The key to success really seems to be to practice self-validation and go out in the real world, attend meet-up group events, and be very attentive to the people around you in every day situations. I am grateful for Kim’s transparent description of Tinder and POF, no need to waste my own time or recommend it to anyone, thank you much! Wishing you the best, Kim Reply When I finally looked to see if the ex narcopath had dating profiles I found some where around ten on various dating/hook up/swinger sites. My tip to anyone newly dating someone is to do a Google search on their phone number. Both only lasted about 5 months and were absolute train wrecks.